Memorial Weekend!

Yay! Yay! I just booked the cutest little cabin in F'Burg for the 3 of us for Memorial Weekend. It was last minute and I spent almost 2 full days trying to find a cute B&B that was available. We were invited by some friends to float the Frio. It was going to be us and 3 other couples in a bomb rental house pretty close to the river. Cody is actually on his 4 day off that weekend and we really considered it. Then.... I thought, Hud would love a weekend getaway somewhere fun. He's at that age where he's just so fun and for the most part "easy" on road trips and vacations. We haven't been anywhere in a while, just the three of us so I sat down with Cody and asked if he'd rather go somewhere just us 3. That was easy! Although, the weekend away at the Frio kid free sounded amazing, making memories with our little guy sounded even better.
After searching for what seemed like eternity, I came across this little gem.....http://www.tonkawayaranch.com/

We'll be staying in the Wrangler Cabin. Plenty of room for Hud to run around. We have our own fire pit in the back to make s'mores :)) We can fish, canoe and they have stories around the campfire at night under the stars. I think I'm more excited to show Cody around Luckenbach! He has NEVER been. I was fortunate enough to experience L'Bauch when I was about 12 my first go 'round. My mom and step dad were huge travelers and I was so blessed to travel the world at such a young age. Luckenbach is such a fun special place for me. I went back when I was 16. My drivers license is still on the wall today. (My very first drivers license!) My mom and I took a girls trip in 2008 for Memorial day and of course we had to make a stop in Luckenbach. We had such a great time and met some really awesome people. The atmosphere there is just so relaxing and the people are so friendly.

                                           Mom and I in 2008 & some of our new friends.

Ready for our family getaway!!!!!! What are you doing for Memorial Weekend??

May Flowers

So much for that April showers business! West Texas hasn't seen rain in, I think I heard 107 days! Some parts of town got some showers yesterday. Our side of town, DID NOT :(

We've been working on the yard a lot lately, trying to get our beautiful green grass back we once had before the drought. (We have a water well so please don't turn us in to the city) It's always great to turn the sprinkler on and watch Hud run and play. I've always wanted pretty pots, flowers and a garden but somehow the Green Thumb thing skipped me. Gram of course, could grow anything and keep everything alive. As well as my mom. Me, not so much! And it's not like I don't try. Our board members sent a beautiful peace lilly plant for Gram's service and I took it home. I kid you not, maybe 5 days later the dadgum plant had some black leaves. So I took it to my mom and she has nursed it back to health. She did say, she had never seen leaves do that and tried to assure me it wasn't my fault, HA. Anyway, I am pleased to say I have had a beautiful hanging pot (that Hud and I created ourselves) for almost 2 weeks with the most gorgeous colorful flowers and they are all alive. Hooray me. Time to move on to the fun potted stuff!

Still missing my Gram everyday. It's hard to drive by her street and know that her house will be for sale soon. It's hard to have nothing to do on the weekends and know that we could be visiting her and playing in the backyard. It's hard not picking up the phone to call her and tell her the funny things Hud said that day or asking for a recipe. It's really hard not hearing her voice. I do know that she has the best seat in the house and knows exactly what is going on in our lives and isn't missing a beat. I LOVE YOU!

                                                           Easter 2011! 4 generations

So much has been going! Baby showers and parties. Hud starts swim lessons on May 7th. He'll be going to the Y Tuesday's and Thursday's. He's really excited because he gets to wear really cool goggles. We've been practicing "coach pitch" (throwing him the baseball and having him hit it instead of starting with a tee) He's really good. We go super early in the morning to have a cavity crowned. I'm nervous about the anesthesia he'll receive but other than that, I feel pretty comfortable. Please say a little prayer for him in the morning. He is getting so big! And his mouth is growing much faster than he is ;-) He's been talking back lately and has been getting in trouble and toys taken away. Then the little stink will come up and be the sweetest little thing with his big brown eyes and say, "I'm sorry I didn't listen." He knows how to work it. He's been doing so great at daycare. We got a progress report and he knows so much. We need to work on spelling his last name and writing his first name. He's pretty much got it down, his s and n are a little funny but it's so fun to watch him concentrate on the letters.
This was our conversation in the car this morning:

Hudson- "mom do you want another baby?"
Me- "I do!"
Hud- "why do you want to replace me?"
Me- "I don't want to replace you at all, you are my first baby and I will always love you. I just want another baby and I want you to have a brother or sister to play with."
Hudson- "Well, if I have a brother he can jump on the trampoline with me."
silly goose

We went out to the MFD drill field yesterday and fished. There is a pond where all the run off water goes when it rains (which is NEVER) somehow it still has water and it's a pretty decent size. Hud had the first catch and it was a pretty big catfish. I don't know who was more excited, Cody or Hud. Cody was so proud that Hud reeled in the fish by himself. It was fun to watch both of them :)) We each caught a fish each and it was such a beautiful day.

The Color Run, 2013!

This was my 2nd ever 5k and probably the funnest and most "colorful!" I found out about the color run sometime last year. I follow a blogger/runner (Skinnyrunner.com) who had an advertisement on her page for the Color Run. So I talked with the girls and got them to register! It just so happens that one of our other friends was turning 30 that weekend so we decided to do the run and celebrate MaryBeth turning the big 3-0!

What a great time! Dallas is one of my most favorite places to visit, not only does it have amazing food, shopping and the Texas Rangers, it's just a great city and the atmosphere is wonderful. We actually stayed in Ft. Worth because pretty much everything we wanted to do was downtown except for the run itself.
We had an early wake up call Saturday morning because the race start time had changed from 9am to 8am and we had about a 30 min drive ahead of us and wanted to be early. Getting 5 girls up and ready at 5am and out the door by at least 6:15am wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. I think we all were a little excited to put on our "outfits" and get to the race. Thank goodness for having a Starbucks in the lobby of our hotel and the sweet barista who made us free coffee :)
There were so many people in white when we showed up, we definitely stood out :) We had on our neon for sure!

                                                                           So clean!

                                                                Pre-color! At the start line

                                                               Right after yellow and orange

                                                         Almost to the finish! Found a fun wall

                                            Finished!!!! Opened our individual color packets ;-)

                                         My favorite picture of the day!!! We had so much fun

                                                        After the race, Dirty 30 color crew

What a great weekend with friends! I say you all should experience a CR once in your life, even if you aren't a runner :) Happiest 5k on the planet!

Time heals/California trip

Time is NOT the healer of all wounds. May be for some, or maybe I'm just not being an optimist at the moment. It's almost been a month since my precious Gram left this earth. Everyday is the same. I wake up thinking about her and I go to bed thinking of her. I think when we returned from our California trip was the hardest. After every trip we took, Cody usually ended up back on shift the day after we got home and Hudson and I would go to Gram's the day after we'd return from vacation. We'd tell her all about our trip and show her pictures and she'd always say, "I'm so glad you had a great time but I'm glad you are back home." Every time. That usually was followed by Hudson asking for a cookie and the 3 of us going outside in the backyard. Oh how I miss our time together. Sure could use some Gram Wisdom these days.
(I know this trip was extra special because she actually got to experience it with us and I'm sure she was watching over us the whole time.)
We've slowly been cleaning out her house. The MOST depressing thing ever. So many memories in that house. I remember seeing it almost bare for the first time, all the furniture gone & things out of place. That was not a good day. I do remember the day cleaning out the top of her closet with my mom and finding my music boxes that she had bought. One for each month for a little over a year. I remember as a child, she told me about them and would let me see them when she got them in. She would play a short piece from each one and tell me that one day they would be mine and I could play them whenever I wanted. When I turned 18 she reminded me of them. I had no place to safely store them so she held on to them. I do NOT however, remember she had written on the box to each and everyone of them! The most special thing! Let me just tell you, I'm a weirdo and from the time Gram had passed I kept expecting to find "something" that she left behind for me to find. Well, what do ya know? These music boxes just melted my heart. Everything written was so very special to me. I think the boxes actually mean more to me now than the actual music boxes. :)

We had a wonderful trip to California. It seemed like we had something fun going on every day we were there! Well, we did. We were in San Diego Wednesday and Thursday. BEAUTIFUL. Probably my most favorite city I've been to in Cali. Hudson got to see the ocean again and George the sea lion and about 500 of his friends! Friday we were in Hollywood at Universal Studios! Probably the most fun 6 hours of my life and Cody's too. Oh and Hudson's! Saturday we were in LA to see the Kings game at the Staples Center. So awesome. Sunday was actually a pretty relaxing day in Palmdale. The boys golfed while I got to shop and had a message.

                                                           Universal Studios, Hollywood

                                                La Jolla, CA and Los Angeles Kings game

Besides the vacation I actually went to Cali for an eye exam. We visited Shiley Eye Center in San Diego and I saw 3 specialists. http://eyesite.ucsd.edu/

They all came into the room and once and each one of them seemed amazing! I told them my background with being diagnosed with Graves' then the TED in December. They ran some regular vision tests and measured both eyes. They explained more about TED and what to expect. Every case is different. It's basically a waiting game from here on out. I will schedule another appointment sometime in July so they can measure again. Surgery will only be necessary if my eyes get too bad and I'm in a "stable" phase for more than 6 months. This whole disease is crazy! Graves' is a nasty little thing but I am taking it day by day and can't really say I've had any major problems besides the TED and even that is a mild case. Anyone who reads my blog and has any questions, I'd be more than happy to answer. Or if anyone has suggestions or comments, send them my way!!

.

It's been a long 8 days without her, although it seems like she is just off on vacation. I catch myself looking at her obituary every now and then and even after I read it, it doesn't seem real. The first few days felt like I had lost a limb and had to adjust to life without it. Explaining to my 3 year old son was the most difficult task yet. He knows Gram is no longer "living on this earth" that she is in Heaven and can't see or talk with her. Out of the blue the other day he looked at me with his big brown eyes and said "I miss Gram" me too angel, me too. We have driven by her street a few times running errands and he looks and waves and says, "we miss you Gram." Be still my heart. This woman not only had a huge part in raising me but also my son. She kept him for the first 2 1/2 years of his life. I can't really explain it but I have a strong sense of peace and have, ever since my family and I held her hand as she took her last breathe. I know she is with me, I can feel it! "to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord." One of the most comforting scriptures. I know she is dancing with the angels and rejoicing with the Lord. I am so very blessed to have had this woman in my life for 29 years. I am also blessed that she touched the life of my son and taught and LOVED him so dearly. XOXO

The Hurt & The Healer

Why?
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn't come from being explained
Jesus please don't let this go in vain
You're all I have
All that remains

So here I am
What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

Breathe
Sometimes I feel it's all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through

So here I am
What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

It's the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all our scars are understood
When mercy takes it's rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say "It's over now"

I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take this heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
When The hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Wake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Wake my heart and take my tears
And find Your glory even here

Her journey..

Her journey has been a long hard battle but she has fought and hasn't given up. Mainly because she is stubborn and hard headed. (That's where I get it from.) Her journey has been filled with love and joy, sadness and happiness, and she will never know how many lives she has touched. Gram. 
Her body is tired and weak and she is ready to go HOME.

I’m Free

Don’t grieve for me now, I’m free
I’m following the path God laid for me.
took His hand when I heard Him call
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way
I’ve found my peace at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Ah yes, these things I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow.
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.

My life’s been full, I’ve savored much.
Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me.
God wanted me now, He set me free.

We meet with her doctors today to see what needs to be done. If you could, please say a prayer for my families strength in this very difficult time and that she not be in any pain as she makes her journey home.

 I love you to the moon