Put your big girl pants on and suck it up..

A much as I'd like to say that I put on my big girl pants today to drop my 2 year old off at daycare, as I walked back to my car sobbing like a child who had just lost a puppy, I realized, I had NOT worn my big girl pants. I knew this day was coming, months turned in to weeks and weeks in to days and days in to hours. I pumped myself up yesterday and got all of Hudson's belongings together, labeled each item with his name and kept telling myself that everything was going to be just fine. We have been asking him for a few weeks if he's ready for daycare. Ready to meet new friends and play on the playground. His answers were different every day! Yes, he was ready. No, he wanted to stay with Gram and watch Lion King. =)

Today was the day! I didnt sleep well last night and woke up early, eager and excited and somewhat sad. My boy is growing up. FAST! We watched cartoons and ate cinnamon rolls and I said "Today is the day buddy, you get to meet new friends at daycare!" It eased my heart and mind that when I told him that he said "yay!"

In true Hudson fashion, as we walked up to the double glass doors and he waved and said hi to two or three different kids. I thought, ok he's going to be great! No worries. As I checked him in, I could see his eyes wondering and looking at at the workers and hearing all the children. He noticed the play area in front and immediately wanted to play! As I walked him to his class I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. DANG IT, why didn't I wear waterproof mascara?!?!?
I dropped his things off to his teacher and noticed a little boy, who also was just starting daycare, crying and red faced. Hudson looked at him and looked back at me with a look like, "really mom, you are going to leave me here?" Then we both fell apart. He started saying "no, mama!" I kissed him and said I love you, be a big boy! And walked away. I watched him for about 10 min on a monitor they have have at the front and he would sneak past the teacher and try to open the door. Still crying, he tried everything to turn the door knob. My heart sank and I knew I had to let him cry it out. So I walked out the doors and proceeded to CRY in my car. I know he is in good hands and that the teachers there will take great care of him. I received a text from Gram when I got to work that really made things ok. "I have already asked God to keep him safe... and out of time out!" =)

Although this was a tough start, for both of us, I know this is where he is ment to be and that he will benefit from this. I hope he makes the greatest of friends and has a fun first day and every day after. And I hope we can look back at this when he is older and laugh together =)
Good luck angel baby! Mommy loves you<3

First day of Daycare! I swear he smiled right before I took this. He really was happy..before we got there!